Women In Pants The Fourth Summer
by sivchik101
Summary: A new summer A summer together. Bridget is contemplating engagement Tibby is undergoing construction Carmen is trying hard to care and Lena is busy self destructing. Can the sisters survive a summer of love, friendship, arguements and Pants?
1. Prologue Part one

**Women In Pants – The fourth summer of the sisterhood**

**Disclaimer** I don't own any pairs of traveling pants. Would you like to send me some?

**Chapter One – Prologue Part One**

Wind whipped her hair across her face. The Hair; the famous blonde hair. It had received more wolf whistles than she herself had – it was legendary. She fumbled with the pin in her hand, after one year, she – and the lock – were rustier than they were the previous year. She pressed on, her mind telling her to keep trying. Until…

* * *

Click! She watched Bridget expertly pick the lock. Something already seemed off – the lock took longer to pick than usual. She pushed that towards the back of her mind; more focused on the package in her hands. She knew that tonight would be different – Something had changed between them, and she was sure that they could all feel it.

* * *

Patience was a virtue she had never obtained – it had always been there. She knew that behind her Carmen was probably going absolutely crazy; but she didn't feel like turning around and smiling at her as she had done every year before. It was a strange feeling to not want to do something for a friend, but she found her mind wandering to other things than the juvenile act of breaking into an old gym, and the adrenaline rush seemed to have disappeared. This was never a good sign for someone as level headed as her to think like this.

* * *

As usual, she stood defiantly behind all the others; looking out for them all as she had always done. Usually it came as a second nature, and she loved every second of looking out for her best friends. Tonight, as she watched the moonlight reflect on all her friends almost bored faces, she wondered what had happened to herself, and to her other friends. Sure, they were all changed, but weren't friendships as strong as theirs supposed to be forever?

* * *

It had been quite a year for all of them – An entire year apart, followed by their up-coming summer together. At first, everything was perfect – phone calls were more regular than breathing; visits were whenever they had a free chance, and emails were almost nightly. Suddenly, college seemed to overtake them. Calls became less frequent and more heard on answer machines than conversations face to face; proposed visits were cancelled because of 'assignments' and emails were at most once a month. Before Tibby, Bridget, Lena and Carmen had realized, their friendship had already begun falling apart.

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Sorry its so short. Pls read p/2 of prologue. I thought of putting them together but it kinda didn't fit. 


	2. Prologue Part two

**Women In Pants – the fourth summer of the sisterhood**

**Disclaimer** I don't own the pants, comprehende?

**Chapter Two – Prologue part two - The year that was.**

The story of jeans that fit four totally different bodies was a crazy myth. At least, people talked about it being a crazy myth. We knew better. We – the Sisterhood of the Pants. We knew that the pants were no myth – they were real; blue jeans that were bought that the store next to Yes!. Lena, Tibby, Carmen and me, Bridget were about to face a summer apart – something that we had never even thought of before then. We grew up together – from happy babies crawling around backyards to us now – in college. This year was different – we were spending the entire year apart and the summer together.

It would be easier to understand if you knew what we were like. Tibby was a wild-child; a product of her parents hippy days. She tried harder than most to be unique, and succeeded in crazy ways. Lena was beautiful – soft celery coloured eyes and defined tiny features. She is by far the most quiet person I know. Onto Carmen, the loudest person I know. Its her defiant personality and the fact that she is always standing up for us. She goes completely crazy if someone is against us, and she is always putting her foot in it. Then there is me. If I had asked last year what was special about myself, they would have given me pages and pages of answers. Lena's would be laminated. Carma's would be slightly smudged in a rush for her to read over it. Tibby's would be scrunched at the bottom of her bag. All I could think of was the Hair. Greta's hair, my mother's hair. If I asked anyone else, that would be the first thing they would say. Lena, Tibs and Carmen would say something else first. This year, if I asked them, they would most definitely say the Hair. Things had changed. But this year, the pants were going on a new adventure; and adventure where we would all find something more about ourselves and each other. Something other than the Hair. And so our summer began, it the most normal way, but changed faster than we could say 'argument.'

* * *

A lot had happened in the past year for Bridget. It finally seemed that her life was taking a turn for the best. She managed to fit in perfectly at Brown, her hair attracting as many compliments as her all star soccer playing did. She managed to take it all in her stride; turning down many dates with incredibly attractive men. Of course, she only had eyes for one Eric Richman. She became fast friends with Aisha Lennox, a fellow soccer player and her room-mate; and was over the moon when she found that Diana was also attending Brown. Before she knew it, she had passed her finals and a fabulous freshman year was rounding up. Which, in a way was a good thing – She would see Lena, Tibby and Carmen when she headed back to Bethesda in two weeks. Ahead of that, she had two fabulous weeks to spend with Eric in his apartment in Mexico. Which, brought her to were she was currently – standing on his doorstep, smiling at the cheesy Welcome mat on the red painted cement step. Eric wasn't expecting her until tomorrow; but she had decided to surprise him. The shrill sound of the doorbell sent even more excitement through her veins – she was running high on love.

The door opened and she saw Eric slouching in the door frame, a tea towel in his hands. As soon as he saw Bridget, he froze for a second, before dropping the towel and enveloping her in a huge hug. She smiled for a second time. This is how it felt to be in heaven. Of course, she was always brought back to earth; but this time it was a good thing. Eric broke apart from her and stepped back, looking like he had a hanger in his mouth. Her face felt exactly the same.

"Bridget, you have no idea how much I have missed you."

She laughed. He visited every month, and always said the same line. Of course, she had a reply, "Eric, you have no idea how much _I_ have missed you!"

Their relationship was filled with competition, and Eric had an answer to her statement, "No, but I love you more!"

She smirked. This was her favourite part of the competition – the part where she won. Of course, she had only recently started winning, when they had finally become comfortable with their past. Now, she had a perfect comeback. "Actually, honey, we have already established that I love you more."

As if he couldn't resist any longer, he kissed her passionately. It felt like months before they broke apart. He silently picked up her small suitcase and gestured inside. To her and her only, he whispered, "Touche. I'll have to make up for that later."

She couldn't help but tear her face apart with the biggest smile in the world. This was going to be a good week. _A very good week._

_

* * *

_

Lena's year hadn't been as easy as Bee's. She had been tossed around in an emotional turbulence. She found it hard to find friends at RISD because of her somewhat quiet personality. Eventually, she did find friends; but it took a long while of sitting by her self and making small talk in art class to find them. She did get attention from many boys, but found it hard to go on more than one date with any. She didn't want to commit to anything and have her trust broken. The hearbreak relationship with Kostos was finally coming to the surface of her feelings.

She had arrived home in Bethesda one week before Tibby, one week after Carmen and two weeks before Bridget. It was lucky that Carmen was there, because the one person she needed in a time like this was loving, caring, fiery Carmen to help her back on track. As soon as she arrived home and was settled in, Lena went round to Carmen's without calling. This was something level headed Lena never did, even with her surrogate sisters. It felt weird to be getting into her dark blue Fiat and driving the few blocks to Carmen's house without her knowing. She felt strangely in control; even though she knew she should be falling apart. Or part of her thought that; it was like a raging battle between two parts of her normally composed mind that had been running the entire year. Neither side was close to waving a white flag, and she had just sunk lower into despair. As she reached Carmen's building, she boldly rung the intercom. Carmen answered, sounding slightly flustered, as if she had just run through half the building and slipped on her socks in the kitchen. "Hello?"

Lena plucked up courage to answer "It- Its Lena." She managed.

Carmen seemed to understand that Lena never did things like this. She started working herself up in the way that only Carmen could do. "Oh god Lenny, I'm coming down, let me just grab Ryan."

Lena didn't even manage to reply. She stared at her fingernails, unconsciously bitten. They didn't look like her hands; when had she started biting her nails? _Sometime after that date with Cory. He got annoyed that I kept mistrusting him._ The hand still didn't look like hers. She was contemplating the fact that her body had been possessed when Carmen walked down the stairs, a toddling Ryan in her wake. Lena looked at Carmen. Carmen had a new haircut and just the sight of that made something in Lena stir. She looked at Carmen, then Ryan, then Carmen again and promptly burst into tears.

* * *

Carmen was bored. It had been a long week for her, filled with nothing, not even Win. He was away with his parents until the end of next week. Still, she had a lot of time to look back on last year and everything that had happened. Williams was a great school, and she gained friends quite quickly. The work wasn't hard either, with her math whiz mind. Yet there were still some things – she sort of stopped minding when Lena, Tibby or Bee stopped calling all the time; she herself had other things to do – parties to attend and such. Still, she felt slightly guilty when she went away with Win the only weekend of the term that everyone had off, and even guiltier when she told them that she had to go home for her mother's anniversary.

Now it had been a week since she had arrived home, and the doorbell had just rung. She scrambled up from her space in front of the television to answer the door, slipping on her socks as she did. Worse, the doorbell had woken Ryan up from his sleep, so whoever was calling had better be calling for a hella good reason! She tried her best not to sound annoyed when she answered. "Hello?"

A small timid voice sounded from the end of the intercom, and she instantly knew what was up. Lena was finally cracking. They had watched her keep her perfect composure after she had gone through everything with Kostos, and forgot it in the wake of everything happening with their own issues. Lena tended to listen rather than talk, and she felt her heart breaking when she thought of how much they had rejected her, not physically but emotionally and mentally. She doubled back on what she had just said, surprised at herself for thinking such an intelligent sentence. She decided that Lena would take ages to reach the top of the building, so she herself would just have to find a way to get there herself. With Ryan at her side, she slowly made her way down the stairs. Lena looked at her with a strange expression on her face, but she barely noticed. Lena looked terrible, her face shallow, her hair unruly and her celery eyes dull. Lena looked at Ryan and then made eye contact with Carmen. Carmen tried – unsuccessfully – to 'stare' it out of her. Lena never told people her feelings outright, or she used to never tell her feelings outright. Carmen didn't remember how Lena used to be, now she thought about it, she barely remembered how _she_, herself used to be since the last time she had seen Lena. Lena just stared for a minute and then burst into tears, crumbling on the marble floor of Carmen's apartment building.

Carmen's heart went out to her, and she realized that she couldn't do or say anything – she almost didn't remember how to do it. Her friends at Williams didn't have dramas like this – all they did was have fun and enjoy themselves. She realized, with much sadness; that she had a broken connection with her friends – the people she grew up with. Things had changed, and although Lena didn't realize it; she wasn't sure that she could be there for her. In fact, Carmen wasn't even sure she could be there for herself.

* * *

NYU ended the same week that Brown did, but Tibby, like Bee, wasn't in a great hurry to go home. On the inside, she was the same old self; but on the outside, almost unrecognizable. She had new friends, wild friends. They weren't wild in the fact that they did drugs or went crazy – they were wild in the fact that they were a more exaggerated version of herself. Her closest of those friends, Dani had her nose pierced as well, and a half-dozen earrings in each ear to match. She wore crazy clothes and had a very pessimistic approach to the world; as she, Tibby had once had. The familiar pain in her chest was still there when she thought about Bailey, but she hadn't told people. She didn't need too, they didn't ask. Though, she proudly introduced Brian to her group of friends as her boyfriend, something that made him just as happy as she was.

For once in a while, Tibby was happy, content with her life, the way that she was. Her appearance had changed throughout the year, slowly transforming the way she looked. She stood up from the single bed of her dorm room. The full length mirror was dirty and grimy from the years wear and tear. She smirked at her appearance, thinking of what her friends would say when they got back. Lena would disapprove of her bright rainbow streaks running through her hair, but still say that she liked them. Bee would say that she looked hot, wearing clothes that finally flattered her figure and made her look half normal instead of the baggy pants that made her look freakish. Carma, she would be the genuine one – she would gush over the hair, and smile at the makeup. She wouldn't say anything about the earrings; because she would be thinking about the pain. Tibby, Lena and Bee had to practically hold her down when she had her ears pierced. Just thinking about Tibby's nose ring gave her shivers.

She turned back to the suitcase on her bed, filled with clothes to take back to Bethesda. She was going home, to see Brian again; to see Katherine and Nicky and her parents. To visit Bailey, of course. She wasn't scared for any confrontation from either of these people. Her stomach was flipping like an out of control rollercoaster, and she realized. _She was scared to see her friends_.

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Sorry its kinda bad, i will have only one character per chapter after this. enjoy!

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	3. Bridget

**Disclaimer – you know the drill – I don't own any pants!** **I am pantless!**

Bridget looked at her hands. They were broad hands, and right now they looked very strange, alienated and detached from her body. She had an eyeliner mark from testing out an outrageously high priced green eyeliner yesterday. One of her fingernails was painted black, but the colour had begun to chip off. Her nails were kept short by her crazy energy and biting addiction. Her hands were tanned; and she never wore any rings. Resting just under her hands were his hands; Eric's hands. They were just above the sheet, where the rest of his body was hiding under. This was her fourth day in his house; and all of it had been a paradise. They had shopped together, cooked together and stayed up late together. The best part was that they even had runs together – Bridget's idea of happiness. But tonight he had booked for dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant, and she had no idea what she was doing. The question she needed answered was – did she need to go shopping?

Shopping was not one of Bee's favourite things. She would be more comfortable in comfy old sweats rather than wearing fancy cocktail gowns. Carmen had to force her into her old graduation party halter neck dress. The thought of having to endure the sheer terror of buying a new dress was almost terrible. Still, it was for Eric. She would do anything for Eric. She looked into his sleeping face and gently kissed him. The thought of two whole weeks with Eric made her feel better straight away. She pushed the thought of dress shopping out of her mind and fell swiftly back to sleep.

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The day flew by faster than ever. She and Eric spent countless hours in the soccer field by the park – playing soccer and kissing. The day panned out perfectly, and they spent the afternoon picnicking in the grass. They were baking cookies now, and she was completely concentrating on the timer when Eric spoke.

"Bee, I got you a present. Its for tonight."

She sighed. Until now, she had forgotten about tonight. The booking was for eight, and it was four now. The shops shut at five, and she was going to have to ask if she needed a dress before it was too late. She turned her head up from the cookies that had just come out of the oven. Eric had gone to bathroom and had just returned with - _was that a dress bag?_ And it was. Out of the bag came the most beautiful dress she had ever seen. It was long and sleek, with spaghetti straps and a slit from the bottom to mid-thigh. The colour reminded Bridget of cotton candy. Tiny pink crystal-like beads were sewn onto the dress, shimmering under the light of the kitchen windows. She started – why would he buy her a dress? Then it came to her. She was too polite to mention what she was thinking, but her heart was swelling with happiness just at the thought of it. She smiled.

"Eric – Its beautiful. I'm speechless."

He smiled, and her swollen heart filled to bursting point. "Well, what do you know? I am the sole witness of the only times that Miss Bridget Vreeland has ever been speechless! I should be famous – all over the newspaper."

She smiled; it usually annoyed her when people said that she never stopped talking. It wasn't her fault she had a lot to say! Coming out of his mouth were like golden spun words – anything that he said was. He continued talking. "It was my mother's choice. She told me I had to buy you a dress. Oh – it has shoes and a bag that match it. I told her you didn't really like heels, so she got flats.

Her heart was bursting – he bought her a dress! Unable to resist any longer, she walked over to Eric, grabbed the bag and placed it carefully on the couch. Even in her temptation to make out, she would still care for the most beautiful dress, especially one that she would be wearing tonight. She grabbed his hand and walked into the bedroom, keeping his eyes in contact with hers.

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The food was good – She ordered pasta primavera – according to Lena and Carmen, an unacceptable date food. They tended to analyze everything that happened during the night – Carmen was even serious about the time that her date arrived. Eric ordered the same thing as her – something Carmen would spaz out about, but she wouldn't. Dates were an easy thing for Bridget; before she met Eric, she went on dates almost every Saturday night. Fridays were always for Lena, Tibby and Carmen. She marveled at how things had changed since then. They hadn't spent a day all together since before spring break. Carmen was away at winter break for her mother's anniversary and Tibby, Lena and barely talked. She marveled at the extent that things had changed. Eric cleared his throat, and her head was drawn back towards his face. Her view of his face was somewhat constricted because of a large wrapped box in front of him. He silently gestured towards the door; and she realized he had already paid while she was dreaming away. She picked up the box, shook it and walked towards the door. The air was unusually warm, and she followed his lead. He was walking towards the beach, and she kept close suit right behind him.

He stopped on the sand; still not talking and took the gift from her hands. He began to rip the paper, before giving it back to her. She knew what to do. The paper came off easily, and there was a cardboard box her heart beat in excitement, and unable to resist, she opened the box. Her heart sank. It was just a soccer ball, just black and white leather. But, she was Bridget Vreeland, he was Eric Richman and the beach was empty in the soft moonlight. She put the ball down and softly kicked it, spraying sand all around. The soccerball felt weird – strangely weak. Something inside it rattled. Her adrenalin was pumping, and he very lightly kicked it back to her. This got her curious, and she kicked the ball with an almighty force. The ball popped in mid air, and she fell down in laughter and suprise. Suddenly, she realized something in the sand near where the ball had burst. The something glinted. Eric still hadn't spoken.

She made a break for the glinting object. He got there first, and smiled at her. She got close enough to almost see what the object was, when he caught her in a passionate kiss. He let her go and bent down on one knee. Her heart pumped with happiness; but she couldn't do this. She turned and ran, ignoring the sounds of his shouting at her behind her back. She ran until she could run no longer, where she had no idea where she was. She sat down and realized. She was in Baja. The beach in Baja. The beach where it all had begun. It took a while to sit in, as she thought of what she was doing and what was going to happen to her life. Why was she nervous to marry him? Why didn't she want to? She loved him with all her heart. This is what she wanted. What was she running from? A thought struck her. She tried to push it back. What was wrong with her? Why would she even _think_ that? In her heart, she couldn't deny that one thought. It chased her around. She stood up, turned around and ran, away from that thought from everything. Back to Eric. Someone she was going to spend the rest of her life with.

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Eric was waiting for her at the beach when she returned, ring still in his hand. She ran up to him and jumped into his waiting arms. He knew she would return. He loved her as much as she loved him. He knew she would tell him what was wrong, why she ran. Why she was so scared. More likely, what she was so scared of. And that fear, came in three different types; one called Tibby, one called Lena and one called Carmen.


	4. Lena

**Note** – I just discovered **Forever In Blue**, and I am very excited. It wont be coming out in Australia for a while, so when it does come out where you are, sorry if there are things I have gotten wrong. My bad :-) Oh, and btw, I own Alex and Camilla. We needed new meat. Also, listen up: I have decided to put quotes, from my life and very random. My friends who read this (hey jay) will laugh. You probably wont, but I will.

Roie: Eww! What do you type in on google for that?

Devi: Fruit Porn

Roie: Ohhh that makes tones of sense.

PAGE BREAK 

The afternoon sunset streamed through the windows of Lena's bedroom, but she took no notice of it. She was shutting down, and she knew it too. After yesterday with Carmen, she had gone home feeling worse than before. Carmen had somehow made her feel even worse about herself, telling stories of Paul and his new girlfriend, as if in a way to make her jealous. She stared at her mirror, trying to ignore the coaxing rays of the sun, telling her to go outside. It was almost impossible to turn her eyes away from her image, and it would have taken more effort than she could muster to do so. Instead, she stared at her almost lifeless expression – her once full and red lips were chapped and frowning. Her hair – nothing like Bridget's but still very impressive – hung limply at her shoulders, dirty and unwashed. Her fingernails were bitten and chipped and her eyes – once bright, smiling, unforgettable eyes were red-rimmed and dull.

The mirror told no lies – she knew how she looked; but she knew barely the reason why. When had this happened? When had she become like this? It was an effort to place when all this had begun, and honestly, Lena didn't even want to think that far back. It could have started that first summer, it could have started when Effie needed a new dress and wanted to go to the place next to Yes!. It helped to blame it on her mother, which is what she had done for the past few months. Now, it was almost laughable - _her mother?_ What had her mother done that mixed her up this badly – it was her own fault. Now, realizing this just seemed so much worse. _It was her fault. She couldn't blame anyone. It was all her fault._

Yet, even though she told herself this, she knew that it wasn't really her fault. Or, she wanted to know that. She wanted to be told that; which is why she went to Carma's. She expected kind, caring Carmen to tell her that no, it wasn't her fault; it was no ones _fault_, it was just fate; something that happened. She would say; if it is anyone's fault, its Kostos. He broke her heart, left her untrusting, broken; hurt. But Carmen didn't say it. She didn't say anything that could be remotely synonymic to what Lena wanted her to say. She just talked about herself, talked about Win and all her fabulous friends; about how she was going at Williams and about Paul's girlfriend.

Lena's reverie was broken by her sister entering her bedroom. Effie was all dressed up, as if ready to go out. Lena looked at her watch. It was about eight, and the sun seemed to have completely set by now. Judging by the weather that day, she guessed that the night was warm and balmy. Effie, of course wanted to go out; being the social butterfly that she was. Things were certainly different between her and he sister but she could still read her mind. She wondered if Effie could read her mind. She wondered if Effie knew how much she needed someone to tell her that it wasn't Her fault, that she wasn't going crazy; that it was all Kostos. But Effie just breezed effortlessly through life, not wondering about other peoples troubles like the type of person she was. Effie talked first, after looking at Lena strangely for a second.

"Lenny?" She frowned tentatively. Lena's heart filled – finally someone cared! Effie knew what was wrong! Effie was going to tell her that it wasn't her fault! But all she said after Lena's eager acceptance was "Can you drive me to Alex's party? I am running late, and mom said you would take me."

Lena's heart sank. Effie just wanted her green Saab convertible to get to another social gathering. She sighed and grabbed her bag and keys, looking briefly in the mirror again. The simple cotton t-shirt she was wearing was hanging on her petite frame. Her khaki pants swished around her ankles. She looked awful, but she wasn't even going to get out of the car. Straight on to home – another night of television and drawing.

It was almost a sin to get into her perfect, sparkling car wearing such scummy clothes. Effie thought so too, and frowned at her before sliding into the passenger seat and adjusting her hair.

The car ride was not long, and Alex welcomed them personally at the door. He was an older brother of one of the girls in her social group, about Lena's age. Effie had a huge crush on him, with his startling Greek looks. He was like the female version of Lena, she claimed; yet Lena had never seen him. Her parents raved about him; saying he was a very sweet boy that drove Effie's friend Camilla everywhere, and they 'got along great.' To Effie, he was a prince. To Lena, he was just another intimidating man, just another Kostos. Another man that would break her heart. He smiled warmly at her, but she just said a hasty goodbye to Effie and walked quickly back to her car.

The car was an 'We-are-sorry-that-we-said-you-couldn't-go-to-RISD-and-here-is-a-car' present from her parents before she went away to school. Effie loved it; but it was a very impractical car for down to earth Lena. It was a car that Carmen would like, even though she had never even seen it. The car had arrived after two weeks of college, and she had never driven up to meet them – she had always lift schemed with Bee. Now Carmen was going to see her car, something that she was unsure about. Carmen still drove a beat up Ford, similar cars to Tibby and Lena. Bee had bought herself a good car with money from her grandfather; she needed it for all the drives to Eric's house.

Alex called out to her. His name lilted on his lips, echoing into the night. She resisted the urge to turn around and run back to him. He was just another Kostos. Just someone who would break her heart again. She continued walking, unlocking the door. He called her name again. She turned around and snapped harshly. "Yes? What do you want? I am in a hurry, if you couldn't tell."

His face broke into a smile. A lovely smile, except it was a heart breaking smile. Another Kostos. He spoke to her, in the same voice that called out her name. She gave him one soft, sad smile and unlocked the Saab. The drivers seat had never felt more uncomfortable, and she felt his eyes on her as she drove off. Chucking a u-turn, she caught a glimpse of his face, still watching her disappointedly. The thought that she had perhaps been wrong – not for the first time when coming to the topic of love – crossed her mind, and she concentrated harder on the road in front of her.

Back at home, he floated around in her mind. She was intrigued by him, and before long her fingers began itching for a pencil and a pad of paper. She barely remembered his face – she drew mostly lines on his face. Lines of frustration, lines of disappointment, lines of happiness. Then, she stopped; as if drawing any more would uncover anymore than she already had. This was bad enough – she felt like she was intruding on his life, reading his mind, even though all she had done was draw a simple picture of his face. She eventually retired to bed, her face smudged with pencil and her heart heavy.

PAGE BREAK 

She didn't see him again until three days later. Tibby was due to come to Bethesda the next day; and she had not seen Carmen since that terrible episode. Instead, Lena had spent her days mooching around the house, getting in everyone's ways. She had not drawn since that horrible night, and almost feared what she would find if she looked at the sketch. Then, Camilla came over. Lena had no idea who it was, she thought it was someone for her parents. And so, she opened the door in her pajamas, her hair hanging all over the place. There, on her doorstep was a gum chewing Camilla and a smirking Alex. In fright, she stepped backwards, before regaining that not-quite-lost Lena composure. Gesturing inside, she stepped back as Camilla waltzed inside to gossip with Effie. Alex stayed on the doorstep. Looking at his face, the Lena composure went out the window. The old Lena would have gone straight upstairs to change, or not even step out onto the doorstep. The new, strange, different Lena just stepped outside and began walking, guessing that Alex would follow her. He did.

She felt very much like Bridget in a time like this; confident around a guy. The eventually stopped walking when they reached the park, and both sat on the swings. All that could be heard was the squeak of the swing chains and the clunk of Lena's bare feet hitting the sand on the ground.

The silence was almost unbearable, and for once, Lena opened her mouth to speak first. Alex beat her, though. "Lena, why are you hiding from me?"

She stopped swinging. Her feet hit the sand, harder this time. She thought for an acceptable answer. _Why was she hiding? Was she really hiding? Was it Kostos? Was it her fault?_ But the Lena-ness came back. The embarrassment of being in her pajamas in public, and the fact that she didn't even know Alex came to her all at once, and she felt very vulnerable. So, being a good Lena; she got up, said nothing and walked home. Inside, she burst into tears. Again. Then she realized. It was time to write a letter. To Kostos.


	5. Carmen

**A/N** I am SO sorry!!! Please forgive me! Thankyou to my reviewers, esp. my recent review from 2col4skool2 who got me out of my reverie and made me decide to write another chapter. This chapter is also once again dedicated to Jaimie… Thankyou for letting me copy you in geography, Australia at war

**D/claimer** if I wrote sisterhood of the traveling pants, then I would have enough money to buy myself a new iPod. As it happens, I don't, so know I am reduced to working at Gardens R Us every week.

**when words fail, music speaks** – tattoo on the back of one of the Veronicas.

* * *

Carmen had short legs – she had come to that conclusion at least two years ago. Before she had met Win, though she still thought she had short legs then. Now she was different. The new Carmen had a slender body, straight, dark hair and long legs. At least that's what the new Carmen was supposed to look like. The hair was perfect and fit the description, and the slender body was slowly but surely coming along with her new diet, but, the long legs were never going to happen. Carmen sat down on her bed opposite her full length mirror and sighed. The curse of short legs didn't bother anyone else but her. Win always said he didn't mind the length of his legs; and was happy with her dieting attempts; he even helped sometimes, taking her swimming with him, eating rice cakes instead of buttered popcorn at the movies. But she still and always would have short legs.

The idea for a diet had been completely hers. At Williams she had somehow found the friends that the college life revolved around. They were all straight haired a slim; and although nice to Carmen, she felt intimidated around them. Kat, Josie and Taylor – Three junior girls that were co-head of the student run party palace Goodrich Hall. Carmen had stumbled upon the three girls planning the latest college party – the infamous Halloween party. The girls had been nice with Carmen straight from the beginning, their bonds tied even closer when it was discovered that Josie was Win's second cousin. Their tight group of three soon became a group of four; often seen wondering through the halls laughing, at the coffee shop planning the next party or sunning themselves out on the huge school oval. There was no doubt about it – Carmen was popular. With invitations out almost every Friday and Saturday night; it was hard to spend lots of time thinking about her friendships with Lena, Tibby and Bridget; friendships that were falling apart.

Now that she was back in Bethesda and away from what her mother good naturally called 'The Williams Three' the reality of just how much of a deteriorated friendship with 'The Bethesda Three' hit hard. Just the fact that her mother had called them The Bethesda Three was bad; it seemed that the friends she had had since before she was born were neck-in-neck with the friends that she had now, the friends that she had partied with while ignoring messages on her answer machine, the friends that had taken her under their wing. The Williams Three seemed to have almost overtaken her friendship with Tibby, Lena and Bee. It was Kat, Josie and Taylor that she worried about now; Kat, Josie and Taylor that she called for guidance. Her mother thought she had moved on. Carmen thought differently, or at least she _had_ thought differently. After seeing Lena the day before; she had come to the realization that her mother was almost right. The almost, such a small word, only six letters, the same amount as her first name. Such a small word, kept her in the limbo between The Bethesda Three, the girls that she had gone through her entire life with, the girls that she had called when her dad had gone, the girls that were there when she bought her first bra, went on her first date, danced at her first school dance; or The Williams Three, girls that she had partied with, and instantly clicked with. Did it matter that those girls didn't share the same bond as her? Did it matter that they were never there during significant times in her life?

The thought of all this had kept Carmen up most of the night, so now, looking in the mirror once again, she noticed many other things besides her short legs. She walked across her room (not a long walk; her room was miniscule at the best of times) and looked at the calendar. It was last years calendar, but if she counted everyday forward, her math whiz brain could work out how long it would be before Win arrived, and how much precious time they had together before she started babysitting again and he went back to work at the hospital. She sighed. There were still two days before Win got back; two more days of boredom, two more days of avoiding Lena, of waiting for Tibby and Bridget to arrive home. Two more days of sitting at home waiting for her mother and David to get home, nothing to entertain her but Ryan who slept all day and the soaps on TV, but even they got boring. No. It was time for her to get out, time for her to rediscover her old life, to follow her heart instead of her brain, to take herself wherever she felt like going. She strapped Ryan into the booster seat of her beat up Ford. Sure that she was strapped in, she started the engine. And drove.

* * *

Think of the strangest place that you could take yourself. That was where Carmen was. Bee wasn't due to arrive home for another two weeks, but here she was, standing at her doorstep, ringing her doorbell. In the old days she had never rung the doorbell, just walked straight in or used the key. As soon as the Septembers were old enough to get keys, they had convinced their parents to duplicate four – one for each. Their parents didn't mind; they were always welcome. The keys were long gone though, Carmen knew that she had left hers back in her dorm, four keys; all on one keychain with a key-ring of a pair of jeans engraved with the letter C. Win had given it to her the weekend in winter that they had gone away skiing at his parents holiday house. Just looking at pants made her guilty, so she had quickly stashed the pants key-ring away with the keys. There were still reminders around her room, but things that she never wanted removed. There were the pictures of their mothers and them that she herself had made; there was the painting of the jeans that Lena had duplicated and, there was a reminder everyday when she looked in the mirror, the necklace that Bridget had given her. These served as reminders of a failed friendship, reminders of what she had lost, reminders of what she barely had any control over anymore.

The door opened while Carmen was still in reverie. When she finally got her head together, she realized that there was a blonde male slouching in the doorway, a bowl of pasta in his hands; quietly observing her. Carmen still had no idea why she had turned up at Bridget's house, but immediately stepped forward; about to envelope they man standing in the hallway in a hug. Perry stepped back and Carmen realized that he still didn't like things like that – he had always been fairly out of the picture; Bee's confidence made up for the both of them. However, Carmen always wondered about him, always thought about how much fun it would be to be friends with him; always thought that there was more going on underneath his blonde hair. Of course, she only had eyes for Win; but, Perry seemed to need cheering up and she, Carmen needed to talk. Amazingly, Perry seemed to understand; and ushered her into the dark hallway. There, she slowly wandered in; feeling like this was a different house that she had been so welcome in a year ago. She sat awkwardly on the lounge while Perry, who still had not uttered a word, cooked her up some more pasta. He took the Perspex bowl over to her and looked her in the eye.

Carmen remembered something she had learnt back in junior high about trigger words; words that made you remember what else you were about to say. All Perry had to say was "Talk" and she was off on a tangent.

* * *

**Again, im so sorry… don't expect an update for about 2 weeks though, I have exams coming up and its almost my birthday (which, coincidentally is on the same day as some of my exams)  depends how much you guys review me though!**

**Xx Siv**


	6. Tibby

**Once I start, I cant stop. The internet is down (damn optus!) but im writing this anyway. Living in Australia, it is almost summer and the heat is unbearable. When I woke up this morning the temperature was 27 Degrees Celsius, I don't know what that is in Fahrenheit, sorry. Anyway, its hot! Most of the weather descriptions in this next chapter I am getting from looking outside – it is SO hot!! Thanks again for your reviews; hallelujah on the last boring chapter! After this last jumpstart, we will finally have some story!!**

In second grade, Tabitha Tomko-Rollins had learn that heat rose. Now, eleven years later, Tibby Rollins (She had dropped the Tomko by deed poll little over three months earlier) was applying that theory. She was lying on the wood of her dorm room floor, one side of her face pressed against the floor, the other feeling the warm air blow around her hot, red cheeks. All through the year she had woken up to freezing floors, so cold that she now had a furry vintage shag rug installed next to her bed. Today, however, she had relied on cold floors; and the floors were against her. It now seemed that the floors hated her – they were hot when she wanted them to be their normal cold. The floor wasn't the only thing that was against her – time was as well.

It was now one week into her summer and she had still not left New York. Tomorrow she went home, home to a screaming Katharine and a whiny Nicky; things she didn't mind. She was going home to see Brian, to spend many a happy nights breaking into the local pool and swimming by moonlight; like that night the summer before, when she had been so mixed up and he had set her straight. Things had changed since then; he had stuck by her side as she herself went through physical changes. He had been her constant, he had been her prize; she could show him off to her friends. Now, she wasn't sure.

It had been about three weeks since she had last seen Brian; three weeks that she hadn't been worried. Until now. Lying on the floor, her cheek pressed against her face, she reflected on those three weeks. She hadn't really thought of it at the moment, but Brian looked different. _No_, she shook her head. _No, he didn't look different,_ I _did_. Tibby sat up, feeling the heat envelope around her. Across the room from her was the dirty, grimy mirror that adorned the largest wall of her dorm room. Three weeks ago her hair had been brown; the rainbow locks were a new adjustment. When Brian had arrived in her NYU dorm room she had brown hair. When he left she had blonde streaks. A week later her art freak best friend Dani had convinced her that the latest thing to do was rainbow hair – something Tibby was skeptical about. Dani went through phases like Bee went through cleats; they were always worn about before long, and she moved onto another pair. However, by the time Brian had gone back to Bethesda, she decided that maybe the streaks wouldn't be such a bad idea. Her blonde was under the streaks – red, pink, purple, orange, green, blue; they all had a meaning. Dani knew that each of the streaks had meaning; but part of her hippie artness was not to ask questions. Tibby had told her what some of them meant – The red was for her Carmabelle, the green for celery eyed Lena, the purple for wild Bee. The blue for the pants (Dani respected the pants), orange for dragonmaster, 7/11 and Brian. Then there was pink; the colour Dani didn't know about, the colour that none of her other wild friends; Dani's boyfriend Josh, Josh's twin sister Marci knew about. They were her tight-knit group of friends. Not tight enough, she still had not told them about Bailey. That was what the pink what for, her least favourite colour. The colour that she hated the most. Bailey had a way of seeing something beautiful in everything, and Tibby planned on finding something beautiful in the colour pink, she really did. The problem was, pink was such an un-Tibby colour; and no matter how hard she tried, it would never be a Tibby colour. She had vowed to like the colour pink, or atleast the idea of the colour pink before she went home to Bethesda, but with her homecoming tomorrow, she still didn't like the colour; and it was worrying her. Even Dani had said that she seemed grumpier than usual.

The door knock signaled the end of her daydream; the end of another attempt to understand the ridiculously bright colour that appealed to girls during the years of which Elmo also appealed to them. She didn't bother to get up and unlock the door; she knew that if it was one of her friends then they would just walk in after looking through the keyhole to see if she was there. No one in the entire of NYU left their rooms unlocked even while they were in them; both Marci and Josh were rebelling upper eastsiders that always had penthouse doormen; but parents that thought everyone was out to get them and convinced the twins to always have their doors locked. Dani was the only other person that never kept her door locked; she was a throwback in her family – she claimed all her boring sisters went on to be housewives while her brothers went to take over her father's law firm. Her two brothers had gotten into Harvard and Yale respectively; and had graduated from those schools with law degrees. Her older sister had gotten a job at the local hairdresser as an apprentice three years ago and now ran the entire place. Dani's younger sister was 15 and 'off with the fairies' as Dani described her.

The door opened slowly, and there, standing in all her art crazy glory was Danica Gordon. Her hair was rainbow; more severely than Tibby's. It began right at the top, a blended ring of red roots. Then, the colours just fell horizontally through her hair, ending with hot pink ends. She was wearing an oversized Leunig T-shirt tied with a gold chord over dark purple leggings. On her feet were her prized possessions – A falling apart pair of cherry red limited edition chuck taylors. Her hair was up in a curly high ponytail that swished behind her red, sweating face. She wasn't wearing any socks and one purple sparkly polished toe peeked out from beneath some red canvas. One purple polished hand rested on her hip, the other hand was down by her side, unpolished and all nails bitten except for the finger next to her pinky. All in all, she looked weirdly amazing.

"Yo, Rollins, what is missing in this sentence. Me, Marci, Josh, 5 and Dime?"

Tibby felt her face twist into a distorted smile. "Um, I dunno, Dan. Would it possibly be Vodka?"

Dani smiled back at her and shook her head. "Nuh duh, stupid, its you!"

Tibby rolled her eyes. "Well der. Hold on though, I'm not changed yet," she gestured towards her half naked body; covered only by the boy shorts and camisole that she was wearing, holed up in her room all day with nothing but the heat and the pressures of packing to bug her. That, and, of course, the colour pink.

Dani smiled again, a smile that only intense years of orthodontics could make. "Well, hate to break it too you, sugar pie, but that is exactly where I come in. In fact, I have something that would be perfect on you tonight. There is one slight problem though. I mean, its cute and all and you will totally love it… but…" she hesitated.

"But…" Tibby pushed her forwards.

"Well, its pink." She turned around, ready for Tibby to go off on a tangent about how pink was not her colour and how she never wore pink. The tangent never came. Tibby was absent mindedly staring off into space, giving Dani the distinct impression that she was hiding something. Still, Dani was taught to respect things like that, to respect other people having secrets. It didn't mean that she liked it like that, it just meant that she respected other people. Every time she hurt someone she got another piercing. There were eleven and counting, and each one served as another painful lesson. Still, another thing that Dani was taught was not to only think of yourself, and right now she was thinking of Tibby. "Tibs?"

The idea to wear pink was an interesting idea. Would wearing pink remind her of Bailey? Would it make her think of her? Would having fun in that colour make her appreciate the colour better? She checked her watch. It was only six in the evening, but with friends like Dani, Marci and Josh, anytime was time for fun. And time before she went back to Bethesda, went to visit Bailey's grave was running out. Right now she had nothing to lose.


	7. Home is a nice place to live

**Thanks – **HouseKeeper13, Jennymay, Spyhorse, 2col4skool2; keep up the writing, reading and reviewing! You keep me going.

**Notes – **now that I am on school holidays, I find myself with more time on my hands. Only problem – now that I have finished the initial boring introductions I have to get serious. Until now I had absolutely NO IDEA what to write, but I woke up this morning and I just new how my final character's summer was going to go. This chapter might not be liked; I'm just warning you.

**D/claimer** – yada yada I don't own traveling pants, though I did get some nice jeans last week :D

PB

The remainder of Bridget's two weeks with Eric went so fast, she was worried that she wouldn't be able to catch them if the weeks started running. Crazy thoughts like that went with delirious happiness – delirious happiness went with thoughts of Eric, and thoughts of marrying Eric. What didn't go with delirious happiness was the thought of leaving Eric for a whole summer. Eric was coaching soccer camp in Baja again and she was going back to Bethesda, to do absolutely nothing. At the beginning of the year she had made a decision not to go to coach any camps, no matter how badly anyone wanted her. And, oh they wanted her; all-American superstar, Brown soccer captain, and only a freshman! But Bridget was nothing but stubborn, and she had decided to stay with her friends that summer – they all had made that decision. She had only realized that what she really wanted was to be playing soccer, to be doing what she loved the most in her life, too late. The camps had been fully booked with other coaches, though they assured her that they still wanted her next year. Now she had absolutely nothing to do and four months stretched in front of her. That was, until she woke up in the morning. It amazed her how her mind was so super sharp in the morning, and how she remembered things that were on the tip of her tongue the night before.

This morning she had woken up with an idea of a way to spend her vacation. It wasn't fun, but it was something that she had to be done; and she couldn't believe that she didn't know it before. Formulating a vacation plan went parallel with missing Eric. She had only known this longing feeling once in her life; the first summer spent away from her friends, where she had longed for her friends, her mother, and Eric for the first time. Now she longed for not only Eric; but the life that she had once had, before everything had come crashing down in her junior year. As she rolled out between the white and blue checked sheets and looked at the fluro green flashing numerals on Eric's clock radio; she was reminded of a puzzle she had done just before her mother had died and left sitting, half done for the last few weeks. The day that she had died, she had thrown the flat piece of cardboard used for a puzzle-board at her closet. A few days later, a calmer Bridget had started the puzzle again, connecting the pieces of the Labrador puppy posing with a sunflower together again. There were eight pieces missing that she had never found; and the puzzle looked awkward and bare. Bridget threw it into the back of her cupboard, somewhere rarely ventured.

She had pondered the reason that she was reminded of this puzzle for the beginning of her plane trip; zoning out on the safety demonstration, munching on a bag of peanuts. As her hand dipped into the foil for the last salty peanut, Bee realized what those eight puzzle pieces were. The one where the labrador's eye was supposed to be must have been Tibby's piece; always seeing things with a critical eye. The white piece; from the backround was Lena's puzzle piece; the perfectly trimmed claws were Carmen's. That left four pieces. The corner piece was Eric's, a piece that was important for the puzzle to be whole. The two pieces of the labrador's soft, golden fur were her mothers and Gretas. There was one piece left; that she didn't even remember; it mattered, but was forgotten. Suddenly she realized who that piece was for. Suddenly, on the red-eye back to her home in Bethesda, Bridget Vreeland was putting her puzzle pieces together.

p 

The plane landing wasn't very bumpy, but the hellos were. Carmen hugged her, but Bee didn't sink into the hug like she used too. The hug was boring; average and plain. Kind of like the hug that she had given her old great grandmother the last time that she had seen her. Tibby was next, giving her a hug reminiscent to the ones she gave the coach of her soccer team – a slap on the back. Lena didn't hug, she just put her face close to Bee's and said a soft 'hey.' Bee smiled, Lena didn't like hugs, she wasn't a hug person. Her father squeezed her hand and Perry nodded in her general direction before turning back to his book. Bee frowned, this was going to be a lot of hard work.

Forgetting her problems, pushing them in the back of her mind for one day; be took a good look at her friends. Carmen looked thinner, smaller and hotter. Her severe haircut showed her high cheekbones even more, but the look of Carmen being thin irked Bridget. Tibby had hair every colour of the rainbow, falling dead straight down to the middle of her back. She was dressed in bright colours, crazy designs teamed with black solid colours. Lena looked worn, she looked like she was about to break if someone touched her the wrong way. She sighed, her friends looked so different since she had last seen them. So much had changed, and she dreaded to find out how different they each were. Confrontation loomed up ahead – they had planned to break into Gilda's today; but all she wanted to do was sleep.

As she walked into her old room, tiredness overwhelmed her and she made the decision not too unpack, something she would possibly regret later on; but Bridget lived in the moment, and the moment was telling her too sleep.

p 

"Tibby, be quiet, she will wake up when she needs too. Her body will wake her for Gilda's."

"Oh, sure Carmen, her body really senses that we need to get to Gilda's in five minutes."

"Shutup, you are both going to wake her, cant you see that her eyes are starting to open? _Bee?_"

Bridget opened her eyes to see her three friends staring into her face. She groaned and turned her head to the clock on her bedside. It seemed to have stopped; she couldn't have slept for 15 hours straight. The numbers flipped to 10:31 and she settled at the fact that, not only had she slept for that long; but her friends were probably all going to have coronaries if she didn't get up to pick a stupid lock. She slowly lugged her self out of the bed and gave her friends piercing stares, making it known that she was only getting up because she loved them very much.

p 

The lock at Gilda's had always been rusty, but this time was even worse. She had left her hair pin at home, so Carmen had rushed round to the 7/11 and bought a packet of boring, brown bobby pins. Now, Bridget was trying to manipulate the brand new hairpin through the rusty lock of Gilda's. When the door finally burst open, she was the first to gasp. Gilda had renovated, for a seemingly growing amount of yoga people, as indicated by the roster next to the stair case. The mirrors were shiny and new, the floorboards polished and straight, the yoga mats replenished and a bright purple. Bridget felt a sadness tickle her mind, everything had changed. They slowly sat in their circle, always the same; and ate the ceremonious food. The silence was deafening, and Bridget decided she was the one to break it. "So… tell me all about your friends, Carma."

Carmen smiled wistfully, a sucking the sourness off the gummy worms at the same time. "Well, there's Win, and we meet up on weekends. Then there are my friends; Kat, Josie and Taylor. We are really close, and go to parties together, you know; the normal stuff."

Bee and Tibby nodded their heads, Lena just stared. This still wasn't working, and the silence enveloped them once again. Bee tried again. "Tibby… I here Dani is really cool."

"Yeah, she is… We are really good friends I guess, but I haven't told her –" She faltered. "I haven't really got onto the subject of Bailey."

Bridget nodded again, feeling somewhat like a dashboard doggie. "So, do you um, go out and stuff?" she asked feebly.

Tibby smiled; atleast someone was making an effort. "Yeah, we go mostly to a local bar and watch the bands play. Brian comes sometimes. But enough about me, Lena; I know nothing about you."

Bridget silently thanked Tibby for saving her from another awkward question.

Lena's celery coloured eyes widened. "W-well, there isn't really anything to tell. I passed all my finals; that's all that matters."

Carmen smiled, her dark eyes twinkling. "Come on Lena! I hear RISD has great parties; because, see, Kat's brother's best friend's cousin goes there, you might know her, Kim Jacobs?"

Lena shook her head.

Carmen went on, "Well, anyway, Kim says the parties at RISD are really, really good."

Lena shook her head.

Then it all came at once. "Aww, Lena; even _I've_ been invited to an RISD party! They are heaps fun!"

"Lena, seriously do you not know Kim Jacobs, because she told me she knew you. She said you were pretty cool. You must know her. She said you dated this guy called like Coby or something. Maybe it was Cody. Anyway, you never told us about that!"

Only Tibby could see what was going to happen next; but even she wasn't prepared.

Lena jumped up, "No! Don't you see it?" She turned to her friends confused faces, trying to decide who to mentally massacre first. Carmen was already crying, tears running down her dark face. "Carmen, you have Kat, Josie and Taylor! You don't need Tibby, Bridget and me!" She hesitated, but went on, "Carmen, you have _Win_" Fresh tears streamed down Carmen's face; and Lena felt her own eyes watering. But she wasn't going to give up now, not now, not ever. She turned away from Carmen's huddled figure.

Tibby was staring at Lena, her rainbow hair wet with the tears that she never cried. "Tibby! _You_ have Dani and Josh and Marci! You have Brian! You don't need Bridget, Carmen and _me_!" She accented her own name, willing her brain to let her keep doing this; let her keep fighting. Tibby stood strong and tall, crying no more. Her eyes locked onto Lena's willing her for a stare showdown. Every fight that Lena and Tibby had had always ended with a staring competition, with Lena eventually giving up after Tibby said something funny. Even as Lena kept staring, her peripheral vision was telling her that Tibby was about to open her mouth. "Don't do it, Tabitha." There was silence. The name Tabitha rolled of Lena's lips, like a t-shirt that she had always wanted to try on, but had never got around to doing so. Then, Tibby broke her gaze. She turned her face away and ran from the room. Lena continued staring at the wall that Tibby had been covering. She dimly registered that she was in what she used to have thought of as the most sacred place in the whole world. All she could hear was a thumping in her ears. She turned towards the thumping.

Bridget, her honey bee was bouncing a ball between her legs. That she seemed to have found lying around the exercise room. The rhythmic 'thump' used to give Lena a sense of comfort, of security. Now, it was just annoying. Bridget was next on the hit list. "Bridget!" Bee looked up and fumbled the ball, Lena watched it fall to the ground. "Bridget! You have –" She stopped. Bridget had looked up once again from the rolling soccer ball; and Lena found herself staring into Bridget's clear blue eyes. The tears were stronger now, she felt them pouring down her face. But, no, she wasn't going to give up. Not now, not ever; not now, not ever. She pulled her chin up and started again. Started to tear Bridget apart. "Bridget; you have Diana, you have Eric, you have Aisha! You don't need – "

"That's right, I don't need Tibby, I don't need Carmen, and Lenny, I don't need _you_." Bridget had caught on. Bridget knew what Lena was trying to do. Bridget, the least likely to fight back had fought. Where Tibby and Carmen had given up, Bridget had pressed on; right out to the fight. "Lena, do you remember last summer?" The question hung in the air until Lena nodded feebly. Bridget started again. "Lena, do you remember the summer before that?" Once again, another half hearted nod. Bridget looked around the room. Tibby had crept in and was tentatively sitting on a worn yoga mat. Carmen was still standing in the corner, tears still silently rolling down her face, her reflection in the shiny new mirror behind her. _One more chance, one more question_. Bridget set herself up for this. "Lena, do you remember the first summer, the first summer of the Pants? Lena, do you remember all of this? Lena, do you remember Kostos? Do you remember how I was after Baja? Do you remember Tibby's stories of Bailey? Do you remember Carmen's problems with her father? Do you remember, Lena? Do you really know how we got through those things? Do you remember, Lena? Because, Lena, I don't think you do."

Her blonde hair swung around as she turned on her heel and walked out of the room, Tibby and Carmen following behind her, leaving the pants forgotten on the floor behind them. That was what they had come to do; to repair their friendship. Now, like a ladder that she had once had in a perfect pair of black patterned tights, Lena had worried a giant hole. And, as she carefully folded the pants and put her jacket back on, she realized that another set couldn't be bought, or sewn up. This was the only pair of tights left in the shop, and they were damaged.


	8. Authors note

**Note** I AM SO SORRY!!! I really am. I hope that I can get back on track now. Considering… today I had an ortho appointment and so while I was waiting for my mum to pick me up after, I went into a bookstore. Which I have been visiting regularly to see if Forever in Blue is out. I looked and looked, and assumed it wasn't there. THEN – the last second before I walked out of the teenage fiction section, I saw it. And then called my mum and told her that my appointment was going for longer than it did. YAY reading time. Anyway, I got the gist of things. And, im sorry to say, this story will not be anywhere near what I read. The thing was, once I told my sister that the pants were gone, she said 'what a great way to prevent fanfiction!' and then I thought 'OMIGOD!' Just wondering if you want more of this fanfiction or if I should stop now. Let me know.


	9. Hungovers arent just for bad girls

Lena had never had a hangover. She was the responsible on of all of them; even Tibby got drunk once in a while. She was always the designated driver, the one that held the hair, patted backs. Her inexperience with hangovers didn't stop her from guessing what one felt like. She guessed it was the same feeling as after a huge crying-yourself-to-sleep session. If she looked at a hangover from that angle; in the past year she had been drunk almost everynight.

This particular morning, she was exceptionally hungover. Her lips felt estranged, her face felt puffy, she had a headache and she couldn't remember anything from the previous night. That is, until she sat up. A mirror was opposite her wall, and she looked into the mirror. Dark bags ran under her eyes, there was dried spit running from the corner of her mouth down to her chin, her hair was disheveled. Her celery eyes had no glow; but it had been like that for a while now. Right above the mirror was two hooks, one above the other, both leaving sufficient space for pictures. Lena had planned to hang her picture of the pants and the three pictures that Tibby had given her on those hooks. One minor setback was the fact that she had left them in her dorm room back in Providence.

The thought of the Traveling Pants sent Lena tumbling through a fast paced memory of the night before. She sat frozen for what seemed like hours while she tried to process everything that had taken place at Gilda's. If someone had told her a year ago that she would have a yelling fit in what she thought was the most sacred place in the world, she would have killed them. Now, here she was, fighting with the people that she leaned on. Her army was absent. Now, she was fighting a lone battle, her armor rusted; her sword blunt.

br 

The decision to do what she did best was an easy one. The question was; how to draw someone without saying that you are sorry? How does one delve into someone as deeply as Lena did when sketching if you couldn't say sorry too them? The second decision was harder; but Lena was good at English, she could use big words with out the help of synonyms; but she was never good at putting what she felt down on paper, not even with Kostos.

Thinking about Kostos brought on thoughts of another letter. It had been just under two weeks since Lena had written _Dear Kostos,_ on a blank piece of writing paper. That was all she had written; before putting the A4 sheet underneath a magazine rack. These letters would be easier; she knew it. The paper was piled neatly (a past-Lena thing to do) underneath her computer tower. She took out a fresh sheet and pulled out a pencil from her pencil case sitting on her desk.

Then she stopped.

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The afternoon sunset shined through the windows, casting light onto a head of dark hair resting on a desk. Attached to the head was a body; the body of Lena Kaligaris. Lena's head was resting on a piece of paper; once blank. The paper was filled with neat, loopy handwriting. Under the sheet of paper was another sheet of paper, filled with more handwriting, neater than before. As the sunlight lit her head; Lena woke up. At first she didn't realize where she was, and stared around dumbly. Then, once again, the realization washed over her. Only this time, she didn't feel so bad. She looked down at the paper in front of her. Two sheets of paper, filled with her handwriting. She pulled the first paper out from under the second sheet on top. The top said in big, bold, underlined letters was BRIDGET.

It had taken almost six hours to write the two pages; Lena hadn't eaten, changed her clothes or talked to anyone. Now, it was time to go out. Showering was an obvious choice, as was getting dressed in a sensible outfit. The hard part was twisting the handle on her bedroom door and stepping out of Lena-zone. Even harder was walking out to the Saab waiting on the curb in front of her house. Once she was in, after a fierce fight with her conscience, turning the ignition was easy. _The decisions are always hard, but the gestures are automatic;_ she realized as the key turned. It was different with her friends; maybe that is why they had gone wrong. Every other aspect in her life followed this 'rule.' Bridget, Tibby and Carmen had a knack for ignoring rules, and this was one they definitely didn't abide by. All her life, when it came to her friends, the decisions were as easy as the gestures. Everything was done out of charged up love; like their friendship was an energizer battery that was filled to the boiling point with love every time they saw each other. After a year away, the battery seemed to be flat, and, like the pair of tights that pre-hangover-Lena had thought of, the battery was ruined.

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The mailbox at the Vreeland house was similar to the rest of the house. What was once a grand, white clapboard house was close to dilapidated; in need of a paint job. The mailbox was small and red; and stood out from the rest of the house. Lena's mailbox said KALIGARIS in big gold letters, painted on by her father. Memories of childhood included fathers painting mailboxes; and Lena knew that Bridget's mailbox had once said VREELAND in big letters; and she also knew that Marly had painted soccer balls and rocket ships over the red paint to satisfy both Bridget and Perry's likes. As Lena went to drop the sealed letter into the dilapidated mailbox; she felt a pull in her stomach. For the first time in her life; she felt sad to be giving something to a friend. Sad for the mailbox that needed a paint job and had no happiness left in it; no bright rocket ships and detailed soccer balls. She felt sad for Bridget's house; once full of love, now full of silence. She felt sad for herself, for the second time in her life, for ruining her one chance of happiness with Kostos, for ruining her chance of friendship with the three people that loved her more than anyone else in the whole entire world.

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So, I decided to keep writing, because it gives me something to do when I am ignoring my teacher during chem. Anyway, yesterday I went into that aforementioned bookstore (borders) and read almost the entire of Forever in Blue. I must say, I was disappointed. I liked it, but it wasn't my favourite. Still, Bridget ended up with Eric; so things didn't turn out so bad.

Anyway, next chapter with be Tibbyfied… which brings me to another point. Do you remember a few chapters ago when I decided what to do with my last character? Well, I cant do that now, because it was written in forever in blue for me :P which means, I need help with story ideas. Give me some in your reviews.


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